cheating at this again

here i go again ripping off my own writing. i started writing in the hotel because i was exhausted and the light was so yellowy and i was so robbed of sleep that i looked at the silvery styrofoam balls hanging from the ceiling and the parade of obnoxious fakey folk costumed russians and this obnoxious comedy sized balalaika and i felt like maybe i had slept in a closet standing up or something and i kind of wondered if i'd ingested something. yellow lights will make you crazy. we had a pretty long night and i sang so loud the same chorus and then i woke and wandered back to where i belonged and we rushed downtown and were the first in line to see Lenin's dead body. Like disneyland or something. i also started writing to legitimize myself. i was holding all of my stuff in my hands and sleeping in a large leather chair. i wouldn't trust me if i saw me. im pretty sure i was sleeping with my face nestled in my own neck.

its this place, cosmos hotel, and its right across from the space museum which is, of course, sucks because , of course, I can't see the cosmosabaki like I wanted and there's a vitamin conference and everyone is wearing black pleather heel boots and drinking protein shakes and it smells like hard boiled eggs. and i hate hard boiled eggs.
oh and its also a casino. the hotel i mean. lights and jackpot noise and everytime my eyelids get too heavy that same guy is still at that same machine and he just doesnt have a soul anymore. and olympic swimmers are here and they keep sitting next to me and keep talking about buying houses and doing commercials. maybe one of them will maybe marry me. the funnest lot are the japanese and their trainer has a white board on his room that says Japantrainer but of course i read it Japanther and got overly excited and tried to peek in and succeeded eventually and wished i hadn't and felt uncomfortable.
oh and there's a hanging circles sculpture of the solar system sort of in blue and purple styrofoam balls the size of tractor wheels and everything is bathed in this sickly yellow light and my face hurts.
i can officially sleep anywhere. today: face up one boot on my suitcase one dangling kind of off the chair face up and surrounded by 13 year old russian girls singing and my purse in my armpit.
and i still love you. and by you i mean moscow.
oh and i just found a really heavy silver bobbypin in my hair and i just dont know where it came from. russia's getting confusing.

im not thatthat obsessed with the space dogs (theres a movie called that and i dont mean the movie) and im not really even into Japanther but i mean they're both kind of interesting. especially when they're in russia.