Tuesday, September 9, 2008

you are found, yes you are found

i was lost today. completely utterly completely lost. on the wrong side of town kind of lost. smoke stacks and fruit stands kind of lost. horseback riders on the roadways, government documents and paperbacks in the gutters and laundry off of rusting statues kind of lost.
there's something about wandering like that that feels like you're being rocked to sleep even though everything seems sort of wide lens and distorted. and i knew i was traipsing totally in the wrong and there was alot of barbed wire and more than ever stray dogs and gangs of militzia and i really couldn't make myself panic. i was the total opposite of panic. and that kind of made me want to panic...

everyones pushing and everyones shoving and everyone's stepping over death and they don't really care if they dig in their heels. sara said its easier to push back and im not a saint but i just dont wanna. i really just dont wanna. alot of times it makes me giggle. most of the time it makes me giggle; every once in a while it makes me cry.
but something about here just feels right.

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